Friday, May 13, 2011

Ditzy Ladee

I will admit that, despite my claim that I have bad luck, sometimes (okay, often) bad luck is just due to my own stupid ditzy-ness. Take for example the frustration I've dealt with recently surviving on one, yes 1 (!!), baby spoon. I pack Little One all up with bibs, lovingly made baby food, a nice bottle, toys etc. for when she goes a visiting the relatives. And I'm sure they secretly hoard the spoons and refuse to give them back to us. Maybe they re-purpose them as plant markers, or just keep them for when I'll inevitably drop the child off sans spoon and they'll be unable to feed her due to her adorable cutsie little mouth and the gigantic big human spoons that us adults use....I'm sure that's it. Either way the spoon fairies never return my precious spoons and so I purposed to buy an extra pack to complement the ONE lone spoon I've been begrudgingly rewashing 3 times a day, always dried and caked with horrid banana mush or some such stubborn nastiness. You know how it goes: Feed baby. Baby done. Baby spitting it all back at you. Wail as banana gets lodged in eyelashes. Remove child from feeding apparatus. Hold child haphazardly over sink and sufficiently pour water over child to remove mush/food from ears, hair, eyebrows etc. Remove useless bib from child. Relocate to living room/changing area. Change stanky diaper and keep said child from rolling stank onto the carpet all whilst demonstrating to-no-one-in-particular excellent, no professional, one handed diaper changing skills. Breathe. Play and show overflowing love to child. Fold laundry whilst that Child explores the dust bunnies that you haven't gotten to yet. Listen for unique tired sounds. Wipe dust bunnies from snot and drool infested face. Place child in crib. Cover your sleeping beauty and realize you love that adorable little rug rat. Ponder how true that term is. Rug. Rat. Nod in understanding. Go sit at the computer and pretend to be productive whilst drinking a cuppa coffee and regrouping. Wail....(has it been an hour and a half already?). Get up lovable happy very awake baby and start process all over again.

EXCEPT .... Now you have to go in search of a clean spoon. Fruitless searching. And you remember. You didn't clean the one you used earlier either. It's now sitting in the sink, crusty, if you have more initiative than me. Mine is usually still laying out, like a crispy sunbather, on top of that eating apparatus. Argh. Put hungry baby down and wait the cursory 7-10 minutes for hot water to clean spoon all the while listening to the lovely sounds of a child in starvation mode.

I needed more spoons. Desperately. So I made my list, checked it twice. I must have been naughty, not nice, because I couldn't find the lovely bouquet of spoons I swore I checked off my list. So this whole week has passed and I've been doing the above routine, always kicking myself that I was such an airhead and didn't get spoons at the store. Then today happens. I decided to clean. And the little spoon fairies decided to laugh at me as I found 2 more spoons in the most odd of places. I won't tell you where I found them since I'm sure you are already laughing at me too. I rejoiced as only a mother can who knows the secret importance of spoons. Then as if the spoon fairies weren't laughing at me already they decided to sprinkle their crusty banana dust all through my hair and let me find that cursed 6-pack of pastel colored spoons that I did buy. I just hid them for later.....right. Ha.
maybe more coffee will help.....

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